This has been a horrendous week. It started off on Saturday when Krysta decided to leave. My Mom didn't even make her leave this time she left without any prompting. She tried to make us all feel guilty though. How pathetic.

For months she's been stealing money, booze, clothes and cds. When caught she lies. She's failing her 3 classes (not even a full course load) and skips all the time. We also had to confront the fact that she's doing drugs and smoking. Everything you could possibly do to screw up your life she's done.

After she left my mother started packing her stuff up. She said she was going to leave it all in boxes on Kathleen's driveway (She's staying with her friend Kathleen). My Mom says she doesn't want her back in the house now because she's tired of having to lock all her doors and cupboards. I know my Mom puts up a tough front but I know she's really as upset as the rest of us.

Babcia and Dzaidziu are really, really upset. Dzaidziu is going to give himself an ulcer he's so worried about Krysta. Krysta is a selfish little brat. All she cares about is her stupid friends that have done nothing but helped to bring her down.

So she's now got a permenant fail in four classes so when she does graduate she'll have that against her as well as the fact that she took courses that will get her no where.

The other downer in my life? Well not as severe as Krysta but it bothers me nonetheless. My job. I'm so unhappy. This morning I would have rather died than gone to work. Especially knowing I have to work Saturday this week and next.

I usually look forward to the week-ends because it gives me the reprieve I need to get it together to face another work week. I won't even have that this week-end. No time to catch my breath at all.

I went through seven years of post-secondary education so I would have a Monday-friday 9-5 job. So that I wouldn't have to work in a low-paying retail job. I can't live my whole life being so poor. I can't live the rest of my life living with my parents.

I definitely don't want to work two horrible retail jobs just to go on living. What kind of life is that? Ok people do it but this isn't why I worked so hard in school. I worked hard in school so that I would have a job that made me happy to get up and go to everyday. Even the part-time girl I work with hates it there. Everyday when we start she looks at me and says "Is it time to go home yet." Yes this really is a wonderful place to be.

I have gained some good things from this job. For one I've learned tons about photography and retouching. That's great! I've met some fantastic photographers and amazing people. But this can never be a lifetime career.

I think I'm going to go finish washing the stupid food baked on pan in the sink and then I'm going to print off a bunch of resumes and just send them to the boards of education in Newfoundland. It probably won't go anywhere but I've gotta try. Right now my life is so horrible it doesn't even seem worth living. I've got to find something for my own sake.